February 5, 2009
The double edged sword of fear
Hello my friend:
I get a lot of questions from around the world from people
who are successful in their careers in terms of money.
They make a lot of it. They are driven to do well in the
Many of these "successful" people are driven because they
are so afraid of falling on their keysters and having other
people know about it.
You see, fear can create retreat or it can force you try
even harder to succeed (or not fail).
For those whose fears have motivated them, many turn into
not very nice people, angry people, separated if not
physically, then emotionally from others.
Here is a story sent by a good man who had some very
unsupportive beliefs that drove him to succeed, but
separated him from other people and the true essence of
Here is his story and how he overcame it.
I am from a middle class family with a father who retired
from the police but the ways of police never left him.
He brought us up with an iron hand.
In the process, my self esteem and confidence took a
bashing and I became an extremely shy young person.
I entered college and kept much to myself at school. In my
sixth form, I was made a Prefect and the routine demanded
for the prefects to hold assemblies in the morning and the
outcome can only be imagined. I stood before the whole
school, tried to utter some words but they wouldn't come. I
stuttered, trembled, looked at the crowd and became even
more frightened. When a few junior boys giggled, I became
foolish and confused and had to be helped out.
It was extremely difficult to continue after that, but, I
had to finish my entire 1 year term.
The stress can only be imagined.
I read any self help books I could lay my hands on,
virtually any one I could find in the market including
Ralph Waldo Trine's 'In tune with the Infinite'. With these
books, I had to absolutely believe I could do it and with
fear already in my system and heart palpitating, it failed
me at crucial moments.
I left college absolutely dejected and when the book 'In
tune with the Infinite' put my mind on auto control, I took
it and burnt it. With no help whatsoever, I entered the
University and took solace in drinking. The ladies avoided
me as much as I avoided them. My social life was greatly
hampered and I could only function or go out to meet people
with alcohol in my system. I never took drugs. I had
constant palpitation of the heart and the Adrenaline would
flow at any slight indication of 'danger' which to me was a
gathering of people.
Though a first class student, I passed University with
average grades and got married.
In my place of work, I managed to maintain a high standard
of work, but my social life was nothing to write home
about. Going home after work was always terrible and with
the constant quarrels' at home, my first wife fled when she
could no longer bear it.
My fear of public places continued when I formed my own
office. On a certain day, my staff, about 20 of them were
all in the General when I, the Director entered. They all
chorused a greeting, but, the director who at that moment
experienced a ceaseless flow of Adrenaline fled to the
Boardroom. The confused staff quickly retreated to their
various offices and avoided the General office as much as
At this stage I went to the internet for help. I got in
touch with Think right now and ordered "Releasing Fear of
- http://www.thinkrightnow.com/a/rfof.asp as well as about
nine other titles in quick succession.
The result was amazing. My confidence came back, my
relationships improved. I stopped drinking alcohol and my
family can not stop wondering what has come over their
I don't run away from people again including my 'staff'
and you could sense the happiness both at home and in the
Mike, you are wonderful. It is only God that would have
taught you this. I pray that the blessings that come with
touching and enriching lives will be yours. God bless you.
Mr. Harold, Nigeria
MB: Excellent. Being human, we all err. Now, as always,
mistakes can be costly. But what is more costly, the
stress we feel from the need to be perfect, or making
mistakes, being imperfect and being criticized for it?
The evaluation of a person that he or she is "down to
earth" or "genuine" is one of the highest compliments any
of us could be given.
It's shocking to many when they meet a well known,
successful person and find them to be very nice, calm,
Many people expect successful people (in their careers) to
be a-holes. Yes, many are. But many are not.
An idea that I try to live by is one from the old
basketball coach John Wooden. His definition of success is
that success is the joy you feel in doing your best. He
doesn't say in being the best. He doesn't say that success
is when you win. He makes it clear that when you do the
best that you can, that must be enough.
That is a big reason why he won 10 national titles in 12
years. Funny that he began coaching UCLA in 1948 but
didn't win his first national title until he'd coached the
Bruins for 15 years. Then, 10 titles in 12 years.
Obviously, he learned a few things while he and his teams
And not just failing, but failing very publicly, with
people in the stands booing. With writers writing about
his team's failures... and writing about his poor decisions.
Wooden is one of the people I studied when I developed
'Releasing Fear Of Failure Now!' and why it is so effective
at instilling the mindset found in people who are
courageous when they must be.
Want to be loved, to be more successful, and to succeed
without the stress that fear creates?
Then get and use 'Releasing Fear Of Failure Now!' It will
rewire your brain and help to make you impervious to the
things that send shivers up your spine now. Get it now.
You will be happy you did.
PS: Remember that 'Releasing Fear Of Failure Now!'
- http://www.thinkrightnow.com/a/rfof.asp is still 30% off
the normal price. But it's going up.
(c) copyright 2009 Think Right Now Int'l