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December 14, 2007

The self fulfilling prophecy

Hello my friend:

A question came in yesterday from Alex in Ohio and he
wanted to know how to build self-confidence.  He said he
had no confidence in himself whenever he thought of doing
things he'd never done before or when he began new tasks...
the day to day decisions and actions that make up a life.

The answer is complex, but the core mechanism is easy to
explain.

When we're growing up, our reality is experiential.  We
get feedback from everyone around us.  The feedback from
others becomes the same feedback we give ourselves.

No matter what the subject is, the feedback the world
gives you becomes a large component of your own self-belief.

So whenever someone lacking in core confidence has some
success at a new task or game or job, it's not long before
the inner machine starts putting in the picture of failure,
the pictures of mistakes yet to be made, the criticism that
is sure to come from others.

And so when someone compliments you, the self deprecating
comments back are usually about beginner's luck or about
not being that good, really.  Not just a mere "Thank you."

Since most people aren't blessed with parents and teachers
and coaches who continually encourage and help them imagine
succeeding and doing their best, it is rare to find someone
who is truly bursting with confidence overall.

In sports, you see it every day.  Hundreds of young,
strong, fast people with almost identical physical skills,
professional coaches coaching them, huge salaries, fans who
encourage them and yet it's the same few who win all the
time.

The difference is, the confident person (not the most
skilled, not the strongest, not the fastest, not the
youngest or the wisest) the one who wins is the one who
sees successful actions and successful results in their
mind's eye most often.

Confidence comes from imagining successful outcomes.

Confidence comes from self encouragement.  Because, again,
few people are lucky enough to be born with elite "coaches"
with them every minute encouraging them and helping them
imagine success... to see it ahead of time.

It is up to us.

To grow your confidence, you need to keep mental pictures
of you doing what you do - perfectly.  You need to imagine
the conversations and actions happening as you want them to
happen.

This is what is going on in your head whenever you've felt
confident of anything in your life.

We just analyzed it, codified it, broke it down and built
a way to give it to those who don't do this naturally.

Confidence is seeing the outcomes you want ahead of time.

Imagining it clearly.

Feeling how it will feel physically and emotionally so
realistically that it feels like it's already happened.

Winners and effective people in every tiny area of life
succeed in their minds way before they ever do it in the
physical world.

That is what we train people to do...

...to change their inner voice so that no matter what the
situation, pictures and inner dialog of failure are overrun
with movies of success where it all works out, where
mistakes are few and where persistence is common.

Check out our professional tool for creating confidence at
everything you do. 
- http://www.thinkrightnow.com/a/confidence.asp

Love,

Mike

P.S. Later today I'll send you a story from a young woman
in the UK who used this confidence building tool to begin
breaking out of the mental prison called Anorexia Nervosa.
See ya then.

 

Love,

Mike

P.S. The time is drawing to a close on the 25% discount on
'Conquering Social Anxiety Now!'. 
- http://www.thinkrightnow.com/a/social-anxiety.asp
If you feel self-conscious, shy and you think you have
good reasons, you probably don't.  Get rid of those
feelings once and for all.  You CAN feel more at ease
around people IF you change those bad mental pictures and
replace them with good ones. The happiest people are the
ones who feel most totally at ease around people. Make that
you.

 

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(c) copyright 2007 Think Right Now Int'l
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